30 years with Grandpa

Four Generation photo. December 27th, 2011.

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 30. I said goodbye to my grandpa.

 I met my mom and sisters for lunch. I had plans to shop, go to dinner and see a movie with Tanner later on. At lunch my mom told us that grandpa wasn't doing well. In fact "he is dying".  I didn't even know he was sick.  I mean ya he's 95 years old and my dad and siblings all take shifts taking care of him. But last I knew he was his normal happy, talkative self. I had been meaning to take Hadley over so I could get a picture of her with him. But every Tuesday ( my dad's night with grandpa) I thought  "I'll take her next week". I really thought I had time.  Well when I heard this news I made plans to go see him.  Some people didn't want me to.  "Grandpa doesn't look like himself. This isn't how you want to remember him."  I didn't care I needed to say goodbye. We didn't know how long he really had. Hospice had sent him home because he didn't want to die in a hospital.  He could still live a while but I wasn't taking any chances. I'd wasted enough time. So at 7:00 Tanner, Hadley and I met my dad at my uncle's house.

As we entered his room the light was off and I could barely make out his figure curled up in bed. For a brief moment I worried. I thought "how is he going to look.  This might be harder than I thought"  We turned on the light and there he was. My sweet grandpa. Always so full of life. Always so happy. Curled up in a ball.  I don't know if he even knew I was there. But I knew he was there. That is what mattered. Yes he looked different. But I knew it was grandpa, I think I saw him with my heart more than my eyes.  I layed my cheek on his head. He always had so much hair. Even at 95 years old. Now his head was shaved. I talked to him. Told him I loved him. Told him to give grandma a hug and kiss for me. I had to wipe my tears off his face. I took some pictures of grandpa's hands with Hadley's. And some with mine and my dad's. We left around 7:45. I wasn't sad. He lived such a great life and he missed my grandma so much. I was happy for him. We left thinking there was still a chance that he would bounce back. Slim chance but it could happen. I thought "maybe I'll come see him again".  We ate some food with Tanner's family then headed home.   At 9:30 the news came. Grandpa has passed. I was kind of in shock. We had just seen him. He was just there, I was just listening to him breath. I yelled upstairs to Tanner. He came down and just hugged me. I told him I was ok. Grandpa was ok. I don't think I can explain how thankful I am that I was able to see him.  It would have been so easy to put it off for a few days. Or go over after our movie or dinner..... I would have been too late and that would have been devastating.

Grandpa, Mine and Hadley's

Hadley with Great Grandpa Stradling.


Grandpa I love you. I love how much you love grandma. I know how much you've missed her. I know you were there when all of your children gathered around you tonight. You have 14 amazing children. You are so lucky. They are so lucky. WE are so lucky. I'm so glad I was able to take Hadley over to see you. Talk about cutting it close. It means the world to me that we got there in time. Everyone felt bad that you passed away on my birthday. I feel special. It's a date that only I get to share with you. My birthday is the day you got to see Grandma. Tell her, uncle Carl and Aunt Virginia we miss them.  Rest in peace. You are so loved.